A new way to think about meeting new people: Never Eat Alone

A book that has been translated into so many languages that no one kept track!

This is a post by Anuttama Saha Ghosh on a book that I recommend to my friends and students all the time. The good thing is that Anuttama made some notes when she read it, which she has converted into a pretty nice blogpost. Let me know if you guys find this.


How does the thought of joining college, leaving hometown, staying in hostel make you feel? I am sure the first reaction would be: excited to go to a new town, a new college, and above all, being on your own - nobody to tell you when to wake-up and when to go to bed! Leaving home to stay in a hostel is a further loosening of child-parent ties...so  some will miss their family, while some will try to enjoy the liberty to the fullest - not because they don’t care about their parents but because healthy absence of parental guidance helps adolescents to become independent and autonomous smoothly.

The next challenge is to interact with the new people - teachers, friends, seniors - do you feel nervous or lack of confidence while interacting with strangers? Especially when you are thrown in a completely new atmosphere  and asked to interact with seniors trying to establish their superiority over you or classmates who seem to be very focused and talented and you would be afraid that they may judge you at the drop of a hat?

Well, I was facing the same problem! I find it is easier to converse with people through Facebook and other social networking sites but not when they are directly in front of us! 

The Solution: Never Eat Alone

While going through such a mental conflict, few days ago Ramanuj suggested to me to read a book named "Never Eat Alone" by Keith Ferrazzi. Well, to be very honest the book didn't seem to be very interesting at first (it’s not your average love story or detective- suspense thriller that I would find thrilling and interesting), but still as I didn’t have much to do I continued reading. After a while, quite suddenly I found a typical interest from within, as I realized that it is helping me to build confidence within myself and giving birth to a desire to know the new world with a new perspective!

Although the book is clearly business-focused, its concepts are equally applicable to our personal lives as well. The book enlightened me to the fact that human relationships are one of the most important keys to success. After some time, the author takes the concept to the next level by telling us stories about his entire career and lifestyle built around relationships! The book shows that professional relationships should also be rooted into friendship and generosity! And just like personal relationships, they can be based on authentic connection.

The book is packed with insights and practical tips about how to build up your social confidence and how to interact with an open mind with the new people from different backgrounds and move forward towards achieving your goals and destination at the same time. I decided to share below a few tips from the book which we are more likely to follow.  

1.     If you do something to make someone else more successful, they’re more likely to value your relationship with them, and the more relationships you have with value in them, the more valuable you become, not only to yourself, but to the world generally. It is better to help people around without any immediate selfish motives so that when we are in need of help ourselves, they would anyway love to help someone who helps them unconditionally without any specific agenda on mind!

2.     We need to set a goal first then plan how to move towards it, and try to be in contact with those who can help us in our way! You must not be shy to ask for help!

3.     If you want something, be up front about it. Hidden agendas are not good. It takes courage and a bit of talent! Keith Ferrazzi says that to find the courage we should:

·          find a role model

·          learn to speak

·          get involved

·          and simply give things a shot!

4.     Don’t rely or engage in gossip because it paints a picture of untrustworthiness and it is a waste of time too! :D

5.     We should do our homework about people. Know who the person you met or are going to meet (roughly), or the one with whom you are trying to make a connection. Find out what their interests are, what they do, what things you might have in common with them, and especially what can you do to help them!

6.     Very important - a meal is a spectacular time to connect with someone, so if you’re eating alone, you’re missing out on an opportunity to connect with someone and also the opportunity to reconnect with people you already know.

7.     To build a stronger relationship with someone, invite them to share in something that you’re passionate about- like games which you like to play or any other sort of activities! 

8.     Try being involved with political fundraisers, attend conferences, join nonprofit organisations, and play some interesting sports if you want to create a formidable network. 

9.     Do not ruin a good relationship because of ego or anger!! :)

You should always be looking for people to mentor and help you, but you should also be looking for people who you can help and mentor!